Superhero Secrets

In my profession we have a morally dubious rule, but it is taught to us early in our training: steal often and steal from the best. With that in mind I’m stealing one of my favorite sketches from Conan O’Brien. Just scroll over the images to begin the larceny!


When Mr. Stark had his drinking...problem, sometimes his scotch was apple juice. Sometimes it was scotch, and sometimes it was his own highly alcoholic urine. He only complained when it was scotch.


Unlike myself and Mr. French, Alfred Pennyworth isn't a gentleman's gentleman. He is a gentleman's a**hole.


People sometimes ask me what it's like working for The Avengers. I usually tell them it's the calling of a lifetime. I die a little inside everytime someone asks me that question. Bastards.


Thor, Asgardian god of thunder, once asked me to unclog his toilet. It seems he had crapped a medium sized fruit basket...still wrapped. Never again, sir. Never again.



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