Cyclops… Secrets!

It took me a long time to realize that the notes Wolverine signed as "F.U." meant Felix Unger. He too thinks of us as "The Odd Couple."

SECRET…

The pouches were Hank's idea. Said they were more manly than the European carry-all I bought in Alaska.

SECRET…

I was invited to join the Avengers once. Thought about it; didn't. That there's a total sausage fest.

SECRET…

You know who's a real wet blanket? Quicksilver. Guy's always going on about his old man. Screw it dude; it's beer-thirty.

SECRETS!

Random Links For Your Holiday Weekend

  • This new Hit-Girl trailer for Kick-Ass makes me wonder why I read anything from Mark Millar at all.  Was he just in the right place in the right time to draft off of Grant Morrison?

Superhero Confidential

Dental student caught teaching reindeer to "fly."

What was this pantsless "Santy Claus" doing while roaming the streets of Whoville?

Police want to speak to this man. Allegedly offered services as "baby sitter." Took money, then disappeared!

Hare hires killer to whack Kringle.

Kwanzabot saves Christmas again! Is it time to retire Santa?

Game Tape

Wednesday has come and gone. The heroes have fought their battles and villains have hinted at things to come. Now it’s time to review the game tape…

Like Jesse, I have no use for Joe Kelly’s issues of Amazing Spider-Man. This is sad because he wrote my absolute favorite issue of Deadpool back in the day. Fred Van Lente’s issues are a whole other kettle of fish. Along with Slott, Van Lente’s the reason I’m picking up this title at all. After Waid’s (topical, yet already dated) Electro story, this one dealing with Sandman was fun. Remember Jesse’s review of #600? 615 and 616 harken back to the quality of those stories.  We see a Sandman torn between being the thief/ thug he has often been and the man skirting the side of the angels that shows up from time to time. The division is a rather viceral one, but it works. This two parter also shows a Peter Parker that can’t win for losing. I found the ending a bit heart wrenching, and I have a heart three sizes too small. The art tells the story as well or better than the words. We see hatred, shock, disappointment, and pain in these pages and panels. Well done, gentlemen. Well done.

It wasn’t a light week for me, but most everything I have to say would be a repeat of things I’ve said before. JSoA, Superman, Fantastic Four, and X-Men Forever showed but didn’t move me to comment.

Green Lantern #49 was not so lucky. The main story wasn’t bad, it’s just that we’ve read it so many times before. Hero is forced to face his/her “ultimate fear” or “greatest regret.” Said hero (John Stewart in this case) shows great strength of character in overcoming fear/ regret, coming out of the encounter stronger. Only completists should by this issue. There, I just saved you pretty much money. Plus you didn’t have to read the fecal matter that was passed off as a back-up story.

That’ll wrap it up for the year. Merry Christmas and happy New Year, gentlemen.

Hawkman — SECRETS!

You know what's fun to hit with a mace? EVERYTHING.

Out of everyone in the JLA, The Atom chooses to regularly sit on the shoulder of the shirtless guy. What's wrong with that cat?

I still can't figure out why no Hawkgirl ever wants to wear a uniform identical to mine.

Sometimes I like to go to Boulder, Colorado and whack hippies. Each time I hit one I see Green Arrow.