Worst. Origin. Ever.

Last son of a dying planet, rocketed to Earth by his parents.  Bitten by a radioactive spider.  Young boy sees his parents murdered and swears vengeance on crime.  Now those are good origin stories. Unfortunately, not everyone gets an iconic (or useful) origin.  For this week’s LIST we present:

Worst Origin Stories!

  • A child soccer star, neglected by an uncaring public, now tries to get the sport appreciated in America

  • Shipwrecked on Staten Island, billionaire playboy must learn to fend for himself. After being rescued he uses his new found skills to combat crime

  • A former criminal undergoes experimental surgery to give him complete mastery of the pan flute, with all of the rights and responsibilities that entails

  • Born into a family of expert CPA’s, young boy is determined to balance the books

  • An 1100-pound paraplegic employs a wide variety of disguises to fight crime

  • Abducted by aliens, Huey Lewis and the News are given “The Power of Love.”

  • Raised by humans as one of their own, Danny the boy-wolf seeks to avenge the murder of his family

  • Plainclothes police detective honors his father’s dying wish by patrolling the city streets at night disguised as The Beat Cop

  • An irradiated rabbit’s foot mutates and gains sentience, becoming The Lucky Charm

  • Cat burglar Felix Tabby is given green skin after stealing from cheap jewelery kiosk in dirt mall

  • In the distant future Chet-Darr discovers he can turn into any type of cheese

  • College graduate uses English Degree to commit crimes based the plots of obscure Victorian novels.

  • A worker falls victim to a horrible carbonating accident and becomes The Human Burp

  • High school quarter back buys powers from man selling super powers in strip mall

Normally we try to be pretty judicious about which LIST items that make the cut, but this week there were too many excellent contenders, so be sure to check back next Tuesday for The LIST, Part II: The Search for More Lunacy.  Believe it or not, Part 2 is even more verbose.

2 comments on “Worst. Origin. Ever.

  1. Jesse says:

    Do we pick on Hank Pym too much? Or just enough?

  2. […] Legend of the Exciting, Mighty Uncanny, Raging Comics Blog Panel Discussions « Best. Sound Effects. Ever. Prince of Power Edition! Son of the Return of the Revenge of the LIST! July 14, 2010 Welcome to Part II of last week’s LIST: Worst Origins 2 – The Search For More Money. (Read Part I here.) […]

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