Son of the Return of the Revenge of the LIST!

Welcome to Part II of last week’s LIST: Worst Origins 2 – The Search For More Money. (Read Part I here.)

  • At the age of 7, Mitchell Dunwoody fell down a well. Rescued four days later, the mentally unbalanced boy grows into a man committing crimes in small spaces as The Claustrophobe.

  • During the day, super-powered Omni-Man puts on a suit and glasses and attempts to do real good in the world as mild-mannered accounts supervisor Leonard Wilkinson

  • Operating out of a Radio Shack in Providence, RI, a young woman finds Odin’s BlueTooth headset in a bin of recalled parts using it to pierce the veil of the mystical unknown.

  • Astronaut Jillian Cartwright accidentally poured radioactive comet dust into her bath instead of bathing salts. The combination of comet dust and fluorinated water imbued her with amazing powers.

  • The Missing Link, still alive and hiding from mystery hunters, travels from town to town solving mysteries for those who can find him and afford his services

  • In a prison laundry explosion caused by the federal government, convict Wifebeater Jensen is given One Hour Martinizing powers. Turning on his government master, Jensen uses his powers for criminal purposes.

  • Gretchen Englebert spent an incredibly romantic day at the 1964 World’s Fair. She now spends her time playing love doctor between humans and robots.

  • Fanfic writer creates fantasy world on web page in which he fights crime of his own invention with power set that he created by rolling ordinary 20 sided die. Is killed later, confusing fantasy with reality.

  • While covering a story on Tibet, left handed reporter gets trapped in mountains. Rescued by dexterous yogis that mold her into a right handed champion of justice.

  • Larry Wilmore vanished mysteriously during a cross-country road trip. Now his lost soul returns from the dead to tell drivers on Hwy 61 not to take the fork onto Plains-Pt. Hudson Road.

  • Brilliant mechanical engineer Rupert Goldstein was knocked unconscious during a robbery at the Rube Goldberg Museum. When he awoke, Rupert swore that he would use his mechanical skills to catch crooks with fantastically intricate and impractical traps.

  • Super-intelligent gorillas arrive from the future and find themselves trapped in our present. After being insulted by Canadians they decide to use their powers and technology to mock humans and smoke cigarettes.

  • While developing a new fertilizer for the war effort, Professor Herb Greene’s cat, Demeter, spilled table salt into the latest experimental formula called Compound 7. Deranged by the fumes, Greene uses a new found ability to talk to plants all over the world via the Root System spying on the military and blackmailing wealthy industrialists into supporting fifth columnists.


One comment on “Son of the Return of the Revenge of the LIST!

  1. Matt says:

    That All-Star Superman page is my favorite page. I’d be willing to argue that it’s the best single page in comics.

    Could we be so lucky as to get a Superman reboot that uses that as it’s model for the obligatory origin sequence?

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