I’ll retire when I’ve killed 20,000 criminals. I figure two more years.



I admire the Lone Ranger for making bullets out of silver to remind him of the cost of a human life. I make mine out of my own feces. If the bullet don't kill'em, the infection will


Tommy Monaghan and I shared a drink once…only once.



Everyday of my life is unending excrutiating pain and sorrow. It's like that movie


Listen Justin Bieber, if you so much as jay-walk, I’m coming for you.



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