Optimus Prime… MORE SECRETS!

I hid my mouth during the '80's and '90's because I... I had bad teeth.

secret…

I never liked Chip. Robot/ human hybrids make me uncomfortable.

secret…

I can't grow a mustache. I'd like to, but it just doesn't look good.

Secret…

Edna, my ex-wife/ trailer, and I have been divorced since 2007.

Secret…

I've accidentally stepped on a lot of house pets.

SECRETS!

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Survery Says: Blackest Night!

A couple weeks ago our LIST was a series of polls gambling on the new Green Lantern movie.  Now that we’ve actually seen it, we can give some answers.

  • How many minutes into the movie before we see Hal with a GL ring?

If you answered 30-45 minutes, you win at 10:1 odds!

  • Number of times Kilowog will say “Poozer” (over/under 3.5)

Hopefully you took the “under,” because he only said it twice.  Of course, that was in about 30 seconds of each other, so you’re forgiven for thinking there would be many, many more.

  • Name check/cameo by one or more of the following DCU characters/ Comics creators

Other than a John Broome reference, I didn’t hear ANY other name drops, though the guy at my LCS claims to have heard a quick reference to “Guy”.  anyone else?

  • Will there be references to other Lantern Corps?

Yes!  The Sinestro Corps even got it’s logo in the movie, as did Star Sapphire, on Carol Ferris’s helmet.

  • Will Hal Jordan kiss Carol Ferris while wearing GL uniform

Of course!  And I believe it happened both with and sans mask.

  • Number of times the Green Lantern Oath will be recited (over/under 2.5)

Only twice did the oath get recited, both times by Hal Jordan.  Surprising, I expected to hear the entire Corps say it in unison at some point.  Hey, they did it at Comic-Con!

  • Odds on the film winning each of the following movie awards

We won’t know for many more months, but I’d still bet heavily on MTV.

  • Odds of the following Green Lanterns making appearances

I only think I saw Salaak.  Anyone else?  I just KNEW C’hp would be there, but I never saw him.

  • What useless atrocity will happen to one of Hal Jordan’s family members?

As everyone knows, Hal’s father died in a test plane.  Pushing someone’s mom down the stairs is what Geoff Johns did to Barry Allen.

This Week’s Comics

Yet another light week for me.  Here’s what I’m looking at this week.

  • BATMAN INCORPORATED #7
  • BATMAN KNIGHT AND SQUIRE TP – Seriously, if you’ve been on the fence this one is worth reading.  Each issue is a done-in-one, and it provides a great look at the British Batman and Robin, although the differences have been far more interesting than the similarities.  I just hope they include the text pieces, as they describe all of the British slang that lost me.
  • DETECTIVE COMICS #878
  • GOON #34 – The return of the Goon!  And written by Evan Dorkin, no less.  (Oops, that’s not until #35.) This will be incredible.
  • GREEN LANTERN EMERALD WARRIORS #11
  • VENOM #4 – So far I’ve found the premise of this book remarkable, but haven’t gotten any issues yet.  I think I’m going to wait until I can dig up the first arc until I make the decision on whether or not to go further with it.

Last week was pretty disappointing, but I wasn’t expecting to wind up with a copy of Hack/Slash #5 in my bag.  I’ve been pretty pleased with the samples I’ve read, but it’s not really something I’m into.  This month’s book featured Fantomah the Jungle Woman, who along with Stardust the Super-Wizard is one of Fletcher Hanks’ insane creations. They must be in the public domain now to be featured in a modern book.

This is great news in and of itself, as long as the books they’re in are worth reading.  H/S #5 isn’t one of those books, though.  The book starts off with an amazing homage to the old Hanks stories that really works well (the only thing Kyle Strahm needs to remember is that Hanks draws his characters with a very distinct style of flying), then cuts to the present as Fantomah returns and picks up where she left off. Fine so far, but the b-story featured characters I wasn’t  familiar with and never got explained and the art was too rough around the edges.  If you regularly follow the title you may have a better experience, but jumping in as a less-than-casual reader it didn’t convince me to come back.

But that cover…Wow.  Worth the cost of admission alone.

That’s it for me.  What are YOU looking at?

The LIST: The Corps, The Corps, The Corps.

With the Green Lantern movie out, the idea that green is the power of will while yellow is the power fear has entered the public consciousness. In the comics we’ve seen a proliferation of new Corps. What other colors are we not reading about, and what powers them?

Joseph Wapner: Guardian of the Walnut Corps. Powered by the collective juris prudence strength of television judges.

Thistle Lantern Corps is powered by Smarminess

The Grey Lantern Corps is powered by Grumpiness

Rainbow Lantern Corps is powered by Pride

Brown Lantern Corps is powered by turkey gravy

The Aquamarine Corps is the toughest bunch of SOB’s you’ll ever meet wearing teal

Cerulean Lantern Corps is powered by Daytime Television

Periwinkle Lantern Corps is powered by fashion sense

Avatar of the Kelly Lantern Corps, powered by leprechaunian magicks.

Game Tape

It’s been awhile since Jesse or I have written anything substantial about a Jeff Parker book. Thunderbolts #159 is remarkable then for a couple of reasons. The first is a slight negative: I’m not sure why this issue merited an increased page count and increased price tag, but it was worth it. The book itself is formatted as several vignettes…essentially an old-style annual. Each story looks at the destruction of the Raft from a different point of view. The remarkable thing about the vignettes is that they are not all written by Jeff Parker (again not unlike an old-style annual). While not remarkable in and of itself, the genius here is that the editor brought together four writers with the same panache for dialogue and character. Not a beat was missed in this book between the stories and its intertwining characters. Well done on this issue, Marvel, well done.

For every misstep that IDW is making with their mediocre Transformers books, they are making all the right moves with GI JOE. The re-imagining and depth they are giving to familiar plots/ characters is outstandingly done. Case in point is the current arc running through the JOE titles as Cobra’s upper echelon is in the middle of a pissing contest to replace the assassinated Cobra Commander. Cobra #2 focuses on Serpentor’s role as observer to the contest of power. Mike Costa’s re-imagining Serpentor as a cult figure/ life coach/ cash cow for Cobra is interesting and manipulative. Well done, IDW, well done.

Secret Avengers #14 was about the small moment. Let the other Marvel books handle to grand scale of the Fear Itself event; Nick Spencer is doing solid work with character focused plots. This issue and the last both focus on a character (in this case Valkyrie) and explore their depths. In this case, it’s an origin story mixed with an attack on Philadelphia.

Action Comics #902 had some good moments and dialogue. This shaping up to be a pretty decent ending for the current Action Comics volume.