Two years ago, I took the opportunity to share the origin story of my co-head writer and partner in crime Matt. I related the story of his birth in 1936, his Benjamin Button Disease, and lifetime of service to the Golden Girls. Last year, recognizing subtle changes to his continuity after Superboy punched something, the record was updated to reflect the more recent changes.
Matt was born five years ago, and has racked up a constant stream of accomplishments in that short period of time. I first had the pleasure of meeting him 28 years ago, which works out just fine unless you spend more than 15 seconds thinking about it.
Despite being of a kindergarten age, Matt graduated summa cum laude from Princeton in Superhero studies and his Master’s thesis on Mad Science earned him a MacArthur genius grant. In a wink to previous continuity, he channeled that funding and research into a discovery about the very same hard water that originally gave him his powers. With no Golden Age heroes to inspire him, he no longer became the fastest man alive but instead focused on his research into harnessing energy from the stars into a device he has tentatively named a cosmic rod.
Despite a full-time job as a scientist and man of action, Matt is an avid hobbyist time traveler and has gone back in time to shove many notable people, including Hitler, Walt Disney, and FDR (before the wheelchair). He is also the basis for Marty McFly of the Back to the Future film franchise. Fortunately for his CV, in new continuity he is the 4th smartest man in the world (after Michael Holt) and has achieved the EGOT that had otherwise eluded him. His lawsuit against Mr. Holt for infringement on his likeness is still ongoing.
His first graphic novel, “Silver Age Gorillas vs Silver Age Dinosaurs on the Moon,” will be released next year by Bluewater Press, their first attempt at making a readable comic book. When asked what motivates him, Matt usually just replies “I swear I didn’t fall down those stairs, I was PUSHED. Something about this timeline doesn’t feel right.”
Now that he has been initiated into the 33rd level, all of the secrets behind the secrets will be revealed to him.