SHAZAM! It’s a LIST!

Back in the happy golden days of yore, the Marvel Family was huge. What with Uncle Marvel, Mary, Freddy, and the Lieutenants, by the time the Crisis on Infinite Earths occurred maybe 58 people on Earth S weren’t imbued with powers given them by the Wizard Shazam. This weeks List looks at notable members of the Marvel Family that never got any panel time.

Modern Marvel – Feeling that Billy and company were not “with it” enough the Wizard Shazam granted powers to the hippest most “with it” person he could think of: Pat Boone.

Marvelbot 5000 – A Sivana creation that gained sentience, the K.I.L.L.M.A.R.V.E.L. robot also grew a conscience and has learned to love the Marvel Family.  He can summon the wizard’s lightning when he says the 01010011011010000110000101111010011000010110110100100001, although it short-circuits him and renders him completely useless for an hour.

Santa Marvel – The Santa Claus of Earth S is actually a member of the Marvel Family. How else would he accomplish all of that in a single night?

The Marvel Militia – Armed minutemen in the Rocky Mountains defend the Rock of Eternity from illegals trying to enter without due process from the wizard Shazam.

Andrew Marvel – not to be confused with the poet Andrew Marvell, this guy was given powers for generally being a mensch and because his name is actually Andrew Marvel.

King Marvel – honored by Elvis Presley’s devotion to Captain Marvel, Jr., The King of Rock and Roll was awarded powers to allow him to take care of business in a flash.

Ted Marvel – Ted Nugent was granted special powers after teaching Billy Batson how to dress his own game.

Hobo Marvel – This was just the time that Captain Marvel dressed as a homeless man in order to solve The Mystery of the Hobo Army and became the cleanest hobo the world has ever seen.  Hobo!

The Marvelchaun – Travelling to the end of the rainbow, John Dolemite captured the leprechaun and made a wish: to gain his piece of the Marvel Family powers!    The leprechaun granted his wish, but since the Irish are hated enemies of the wizard Shazam and have no claim to the lightning, Dolemite was given a dark, twisted, Irish version of the powers.  Now whenever he says “Sure An’ Begorra” he becomes the Marvelchaun, a dark imp who plagues the real Marvel Family and can only be banished with corned beef and cabbage.

Li’l Marvel – The adorable, pig-tailed, and lisping next door neighbor of the Wizard Shazam is allowed to call down the thunder from time to time so that she can retrieve her own ball when it lands in his yard.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s