Did you know?

Batman once fought a thief that was a human/yeti hybrid. True!

Batman, vol. 1 #337

In Gerry Conway and Roy Thomas’s Batman #337 Gotham City suffers from a spate of burglaries in which bystanders have been frozen. Bear in mind that this is 1981 and a few years before Mr. Freeze returns from creative limbo, so there are no go to suspects for the readers, Batman, or the police. Long story short: because his mother did the mountain-nasty with an abominable snowman in the Himalayas , Klaus Kristin (an albino bearing a striking resemblance to Wonder Man) must steal to travel to cold climes throughout the year. Why Kristin doesn’t live in a part of the world where the temperature would suit him all year is never explained. Why he travels to warm climates at all is never explained. Why Batman travels to the Alps to handle this one burglar is also left to readers’ imaginations. Fret not, two things are explained. The first is a full page of narrative boxes over Jose Garcia-Lopez art. This narration waxes poetically about winter time in Gotham City.

A typical evening in Gotham City: under a sky heavy with the threat of snow, the city sparkles… And nowhere does it sparkle more brightly than here on Gotham Avenue, where, during the daylight hours, the rich and near-rich throng to gawk and spend.

Conway’s scripting here is a love letter to his favorite imaginary street in his favorite imaginary city as it can be seen in imaginary winter.

The other thing explained in greater detail than necessary? How and why Klaus Kristin’s mother got himalaid in the Himalayas by a yeti. Two pages of a 17 page story are devoted to explaining how a tall hairy stranger saved her, was seduced by her, drove her mad, and gave birth to his child with inexplicable freeze powers.

So why did I buy the book? It was cheap and the cover featured art by Jim Aparo wherein Batman was doing something reasonably unBatman like.

In the final analysis, can I recommend this book to someone that wants to read a good Batman story? No. Can I recommend this book to anyone that wants to see Batman on skis? Yes. There’s plenty of ski action. Can I recommend this to anyone that wants to know where albino children with freeze powers come from? Absolutely. This is, to my knowledge, the definitive text on human/ yeti breeding.

 

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