Uncle Sam — Secrets!

No, I’m NOT really your uncle. It’s a metaphor.

Secrets!

You know what phrase I don’t really care for? “Ratzi.” Being a Nazi is a bad enough insult.

Secrets!

Don’t tell “Aunt Samantha,” but that Ma Hunkel sure can bake a pie, if you know what I mean.

Secrets!

Call me crazy, but I love old-school hip-hop. It speaks to the streets from whence I came.

Secrets!

This time tomorrow, everyone will have forgotten about me…until next year. Well, except J.P. Sousa. That guy keeps me in his heart like I don’t know what.

SECRETS!!!

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