Pharmaceutical Companies are spending big money in advertising and developing pills to solve all of life’s little problems. Not surprisingly, things are no different in the worlds inhabited by our favorite comic book characters. As you will see, things are a little different…
When my patients come to me with complaints of constipation, I recommend Tyler Chemicals new laxative: Mira-go.
Cthul-away is marketed in the universe inhabited by Hellboy and the BPRD. It is recommended for anyone feeling possessed by Satan or one of the Elder gods. It is also recommended as a “morning after pill” if you have reason to believe that you spent the night mating with a being (male, female, or other) from the dark dimensions. Possible side effects include speaking in ancient tongues, anal seepage, dizziness, the nubs, and liver complications.
Suprin – Counteracts discomfort caused by everyday interactions with Kryptonite.
Octolegra – Tired of how hard it is keeping ALL your MECHANICAL ARMS on TASK? OCTOLEGRA helps relieve the discomfort associated with autonomous mechanical limbs. Approved for 1-3 limbs over the counter, 4 -7 with a prescription. Ask your doctor if Octolegra is right for you.
Pym Plus – a pleasant smelling tincture; good for what ails ye.
Ruby Quartz-Ade – By building up a supply of Ruby Quartz in the body,
it helps suppress all powers kept in line by RQ. Also with
Rogue-a-Cedrin – Allows you to pick up your favorite regional dialect
without having to fake an accent! Comes in Southern, Cajun, Russian,
and German. For entertainment purposes only.
Portasol – a patch worn to reduce the nausea, disorientation, and dizziness associated with particle and molecular transporters. Portasol-M is for those same symptoms associated with magic based teleportation.
Ferracil – turns the iron in the blood non-magnetic to prevent manipulation by Magneto, Polaris, Dr. Polaris, Cosmic Boy, and hundreds of others with magnetic based powers. Developed by DARPA for the US government of 616.
Shazamil – a children’s vaccine in the DCU to prevent the all-too-common problem of magical contamination (by bearded old men or otherwise).
Alevil – given to infant twins to prevent Evil Twin Syndrome.