Happy Hour, or: It’s Martini Time!

Superheroes work hard, play hard, and fight hard.  Sometimes, when business time is done, they also drink hard.  For this week’s LIST we present: Superheros’ Favorite Cocktails.  (NOTE: “Bat-tini” merited instant disqualification.)

  • The Two Face (or Gotham Car Bomb) – a half shot of Sterno and half shot of heavy whipping cream dropped into a pint of Guinness.

  • The Rainbow Raider – Any red wine with a drop of LSD

  • The Rogue – Line the rim of a glass with butter and grits. Add 2 parts Southern Comfort to one part Hot Damn!

  • Hulk Smash – Absinthe and Human Growth Hormone

  • The Fawcett City Gee Whiz -3 parts Dudley’s gin, 2 parts Tawney’s Triple Sec, 2 tablespoons of sugar, 3 parts soda water, shaken with a bolt of lightening from any of the Marvel Family served in a highball glass with 6 ice cubes.

  • The First Class – 2 parts blue agave, one part firebird, one part cognac (the angel’s liquor), One maraschino cherry, served on the rocks.

  • The Lazarus Pit – 2 parts Everclear, one part Tabasco Sauce, half a can of Red Bull, stir in 2 powdered Viagra tablets. Garnish with Bhut Jolokia chili pepper.

  • The Resurrection Man – a jigger of bleach with a dash of Drano

  • Transmet – 5 oz. of Everclear, 1 oz. cranberry juice, 2 – 3 tabs of lysergic acid diethylamide, and a teaspoon of nanobots designed to convert alcohol to lysergic acid diethylamide. Stir vigorously, add bitters to taste, and garnish with lemon zest. Serve chilled.

  • Themyscirapolitan – A cosmopolitan, but with the blood of a man instead of cranberry juice.

  • The Schumaker – A slippery nipple dropped into a glowing neon mug of coffee.

  • The Martian Manhunter – Any drink that is traditionally set aflame, but not lit

  • The Opal City Sling – a gimlet served in a Bakelite highball glass

CAUTION: Imbibing of these drinks can and will cause insanity and/or death.  Plus they’ll almost certainly taste like ass.