The LIST: Where are they now?

Between revamps, reboots, various crises, and a decimation, we’ve lost a lot of characters that were once favorites or at least got a lot of panel time. This week we ask about their whereabouts.

Stardust lost everything during an ill-fated trip to Atlantic City and gave up superheroing. Always looking for the next big score, he is currently trying to sue the Internet over the rights to “planking”.

 

Master Mold I – the sentient sentinel factory was hollowed out and turned into the Genoshan equivalent of Dave and Buster’s.

Irving Forbush – settled down with Ma Hunkle and moved to Flagstaff,
AZ.  They’ve raised 7 children who haven’t given them any grandkids
yet.  All have cookware on their noggins.

Turok – the famed dinosaur hunter continues to hunt dinsoaur. However, he now also dresses them and sells them in his specialty meats shop located near Encino California.

Alfred E. Newman – the former child star worries.  A lot.  About the
future of your soul.

 

Vulko – If you’re in the market for a used seahorse, why not swim on over to Crazy Vulko’s Used Seahorse Emporium? We’re the Official Used Seahorse Dealer – by appointment – to Aquaman!

Ray Palmer – gave up his Atom identity to be replaced by Green Arrow for a while.

Cameron Hodge – the biggoted techno-organic foe of the X-Men finally accepted that mutants were a part of life. Since 2009, Hodge has worked at the Best Buy in Ames, Iowa. He’s Assistant Manager in charge of the Geek Squad.

Cyclone – This more-recent JSA member, once an optimistic, youthful ball of energy, continues to emulate Red Tornado by spending all her time crying.  The JSA is not returning her calls.

Herbie Popnecker – at 66, Reverend Popnecker uses his lollipop powers exclusively to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ and torment Satan and his legions of demons. He is the founder and senior minister of a mega church in San Antonio Texas.

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The rare cinnamon LIST

Herbie Popnecker, a LEMUR favorite, famously gains powers and abilities by eating certain flavored lollipops. For your confectionary consideration, we have a list of other flavors and powers that Herbie had access to.

Sarsparilla – enables Popnecker to grow a mustache to rival Sam Elliot’s

Sweet and Sour – provides Herbie with the ability to digest MSG laden foods.

Grog – gives Herbie the ability to speak and understand “pirate talk.”

Tapioca – allows him to literally become a fat lump

Scrambled Eggs – allows Herbie to fly and talk to birds

Salt – allows Herbie to live indefinitely in saltwater or brackish environments

London Broil – gives Herbie a monocle and impeccable posh British accent

PBR – gives Herbie a trucker cap and the constitution to eat possum

Blue Milk – gifts Herbie with the proportionate strength, speed, and agility of a jawa

Cordon Bleu – allows Herbie mastery over French sauces

Natural Light – provides Herbie with the strength and fighting ability of three drunken Russell Crowes

Tabasco – opens a portal to Hell which Herbie frequently uses to make Satan his bitch.

This Week’s Comics — And Too Much Commentary

There aren’t a TON of solid-looking books coming out next week, but some are my favorites and the others look to be worth experimenting.

  • BATMAN BEYOND #1 (OF 6) – I’m curious, and for $3 it’s worth giving the new adventures of Terry McGinness a shot.
  • CHRONICLES OF WORMWOOD LAST BATTLE #4 (OF 6) – It’s been quite a while since we saw the last issue of CoW come out, which is a shame since it’s the funniest comic you can buy that doesn’t involve Muppets.  As long as, you know…nothing ever offends you.  Ever.
  • GREEN LANTERN #55 – After Green Lantern #54 I put this title On Notice, in that it’s only one bad issue away from getting dropped from my pull list.  But with Lobo in this month’s issue it’s safe for now.
  • HERBIE 7 INCH VINYL FIGURE – For Matt.
  • MUPPET SHOW #7 – And speaking of Muppets, issue #7 of the main title comes out this week.  Even though I still somewhat miss Roger Langridge’s art, Amy Mebberson’s is definitely growing on me.  Her smooth linework is so dead-on it makes me feel like I’m watching an episode of the Muppet Show, especially when she manages to make the pigs or frogs tuck their noses into their mouth.

Usually I’m fairly autonomous in the comics I pick up every week, but after reading Matt’s Game Tape last Thursday I was convinced to pass on Superman #700 and pick up Fantastic Four #580 instead.  I may never know if Superman was as big a letdown as he said, but picking up FF was a great move. I’ve only been sporadically picking up issues in the Hickman run, but I’ve been pleased each time so I think this will move to the regular pull list.  The main story with Arcade was light and well done-in-one, but the Reed-lead Future Foundation is terrific, and I’m anxious to see where Ben Grimm’s “High Cost of Living”-esque story goes.  Hickman’s dialogue really shines, but I was incredibly impressed by the linework of Neil Edwards’ Bryan Hitch-meets-Alan Davis pencils.  THIS is what the Fantastic Four should be like.

When going over last week’s new releases I apparently spaced over Thunderbolts, the second issue of Jeff Parker’s run with Luke Cage taking over the team.  This is the best incarnation of the team I’ve read since the early Busiek days, as Cage and the team all start feeling each other out and exploring their limitations.  You know, like the T. Rex in Jurassic Park.  And for whatever reason, the presence of Man-Thing takes the book to a whole other level, even if he doesn’t do very much yet.

So, that’s it for me.  What are YOU looking at?