Delicious Fruit Filling

In the 70’s and 80’s Marvel and DC teamed up with Hostess to promote fried pies.  Inevitably, a villain terrifies the city, only to be captured when the hero and some children distract him with fruit pies.  There’s always a highly recognizable hero starring in these features, but never a villain you’ve ever seen before.  For this week’s LIST we present Hostess Villains You Almost Saw, But Didn’t.
  • Cap’n High Fructose Corn Syrup

  • Li’l Debbie

  • The Ding-Dong Daddy-O

  • The Unleavener

    This poor sonofabitch got his ass handed to him by Hawkman.

  • Cirque de Merengue

  • Lord Tasty Kakes

  • Richard Simmons

  • Dirty Hippy

  • The Age of Aquarius

  • The Fruitman

  • Lex Luthor’s out of work dietician

  • Snaximus: Roman god of high-caloric sweet treats

Aunt May — Secrets!!!

I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue. And 85 years of circus performing has left me QUITE limber.


Other super-villains I almost married: Norman Osborn, J. Jonah Jameson, Mac Gargan, Eddie Brock, and The Kangaroo.


I made one ill-fated attempt at villainy in the 1970's, but getting defeated by Hostess fruit pies got my head straight.


Yes, my becoming the heard of Galactus is canon. Golden Oldie will ride again!


After Peter moved out I found some of his old textbooks, and they had CENTERFOLDS of the periodic table in them! Shocking!