Human Torch — Secrets!!! Sep19 by Jesse People always ask, but really it’s the one part that NEVER catches fire. Secrets! Ben always tries to put my hand in warm water when I’m asleep, but that never works. Except when it does. Secrets! I spent my twenties partying with Milk and Cheese and fighting the establishment. Then I spent my thirties chillin’ with Bob Dylan and relaxin’ like Michael Jackson. Secrets! I think it’s great they got Captain America to play me in the movie. I KINDA wish they had gotten Thor, though. Secrets! Most days I feel too old for the superhero gig. But if I don’t get with the Atlantean, or Inhuman, or Kree, or Skrull hotties, who will? SECRETS!!!