Sandman… SECRETS! Dec15 by Porthos At my age, I’m learning to appreciate regularity and stool softeners. SECRET… My last girlfriend and I broke up because she had an evil cat. Sand and cats... not pretty. SECRET… Before turning to crime, I was a model for the Charles Atlas cartoon ads. SECRET… Yes. Norman and Harry Osborn and I all go to the same barber. SECRET… Sometimes I lie awake all night thinking about how naked I am under my clothing. SECRETS!