Uncle Ben…SECRETS!

May and I were never married by any recognized authority.

secret…

May Parker gets the Power Cosmic and it doesn't even occur to her to bring me back from the dead?! That's BS

secret…

I once arm wrestled Albert Einstein in a bar. Woulda won if Robert Oppenheimer hadn't cheated.

Secret…

I never really went in for all that religiousy stuff.

SECRET…

That crap about great power... I actually stole that from a Queens Savings and Loan commercial.

SECRETS!