The LIST – Course Catalog for Xavier’s

Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters is the premier place for a young mutant to learn how to used his or her gifts. The courses are designed specifically to cater to the special needs of it’s student population.

Grooming 101 – It’s a special time in a youngster’s life when he or she discovers hair/ feathers/ scales/ bony protuberances growing in new places. This course is designed to teach young mutants how to properly manage this new growth. Topics include: Flea Bath or Sheep dip? Which is best for me?, Molting and Shedding, Man-scaping, and Do I Still need Clothes? Instructor: TBA

Resurrection 740 – An upper level seminar for 6th year students. This course is designed to address special concerns about coming back from the dead. Because of the sensitive and controversial subject matter, parental permission is required. Controlling Zombie Rage, Dealing with Doppelgangers, and Suspended Animation, Somewhat Dead, Mostly Dead and All Dead Where do I stand Legally? are among the seminars presented by Ms. Grey and Mr. Rasputin

Elemental Powers and You 380 – The third in a series of courses intended to assist students with power over fire, water (ice), weather, and earth. By the end of this course, students should be able to demonstrate basics of natural disasters and natural disaster abatement.

Healing 215 – I have a healing factor…Now where do I go???  Learn
what you can and can’t bounce back from, what will kill you, and what
will just piss you off.  Prof. Logan’s course will include guest
lectures by any mutant that’s shown up in the past 20 years.

Advanced Energy Projection 550 – Regardless of how energy leaves your
body, this class will teach you how to manage it.  If hands are your
thing, you’ll learn closed-fist vs finger-pointing methods.  If you
have an embarrassing orifice issue, you’ll learn how to re-route to a
more “acceptable” location.  Learn when a fraction of an inch is too
much or just enough!  Visors and containment suits are strongly
recommended but not required.

Blackbird Maintenance 410 – Learn the ins and outs of keeping your
plane in the air.  Topics include “rebuilding after explosions,”
“psychic shields and heat tiles,” “Stowaways?  Put ’em on the team!,”
and “preventative tire maintenance”.  Required for 4th-year students.
Pre-requisite for pilot courses.  Additional Quinjet credits can be

Monitor Duty 100 – This course is a requisite for all students entering the school. It will offer methods and tips on how best to use sophisticated computers and media-feeds to monitor global situations. In addition, students will become familiar with mutant and superhuman issues across the globe. This can count as a careers course for those with non-combative (read: useless) powers. Professor Ramsey can also offer counseling for students on off-planet careers as an extra-curricular activity.

Welcome to the X-Men 101 – Incoming students are required to take this
course as an orientation to life at Xavier’s. Procedures and protocol
are covered to aid the new student in a smooth transition into the
school. New students must also enroll in the weekly 2 hour lab: Hope
You Survive the Experience 102.

Team-Ups 510 – You meet, you fight, then…you team up!  Learn what to
do, what not to do, and how to keep your feelings from being hurt when
friend thinks you’re a foe.  Required for Crossovers 520.

Crossovers 520 – You’ve mastered the team-up?  Now what?  Join Prof.
McCoy as he takes you through the ins and outs of crossovers.  Whether
it’s with another team or another you, you’ll learn how to take care
of business and still make it home for 4th period.  Pre-Requisite:
Team-Ups 510.  Inter-Universe/Dimension thesis option available for
additional credit.

Quips 110 – Learn how to use humor to mask feelings of anxiety and
insecurity.  1/2 credit only

Spandexploitation IV: The Voyage Home

Does this modest manse in upstate New York belong to a coven of Satan's concubines? Neighbors report strange noises, "animal smells and flying women."


Are your sheep safe? Maybe not if this bouncing Beau Brummel lives near you.


Have you seen this man? Casinos cross country complain: cajun card-sharp cheats!

Artie and Leech with Attorney at law: Caliban.

Which power couple was refused marriage by mutant hate-mongering justice of the peace?

Professor X, walking tall.

Was this wheelchair bound "Professor" really caught doing the Stanky Leg at a local night club?