Mister Miracle — Secrets!

Kids, I’ve escaped from many things in my day, but one thing I CAN’T escape is the love of a good woman.

Secrets!

One snuggle from Big Barda and you’ll forget all that perverse and unnatural time you spent with Oberon in the lab.

Secrets!

The love of Granny Goodness is nothing next to the unforgiving embrace of your own Female Fury.

Secrets!

The only thing I’d ever want to escape now is the single life.

Secrets!

Yup, kiss life as you know it goodbye.

SECRETS!!!

This Week’s Comics

Despite a Memorial Day Holiday, this week’s comics will still be out on Wednesday.  Don’t be late!  With that in mind, here are this week’s new and noteworthy titles.

  • AMERICAS GOT POWERS #2 (OF 6) – Well, it’s new if not noteworthy.  For the record, I didn’t especially care for it.
  • CHANNEL ZERO TP COMPLETE COLLECTION – Interested in Brian Wood’s work before DMZ?  Channel Zero is a great place to start, plus Wood handles all of the creative duties here.  It’ll be interesting to see how it holds up after all these years.
  • COW BOY A BOY AND HIS HORSE HC – By Nate Cosby and Chris Eliopoulos, whose FCBD preview hooked me good.  You can also check out the first four chapters completely free at cowboycomic.net!
  • FF #18
  • ROCKETEER ADVENTURES 2 #3 (OF 4)
  • ROGER LANGRIDGES SNARKED #8 – I feel like we’re getting close to the conclusion, but every issue has been a lot of fun.
  • TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES ONGOING #10

That’s it for this week.  What looks good to you?

Saturday Rundown

I hate to say it, but I’m a sucker for a good cover, espcially on a first issue.  When I saw the cover Epic Kill #1 I was sold without any of the other evaluation I would normally do.  While Raffaele Ienco’s cover and pin-ups were solid, but his sequential art was not.  His figures look stiff and awkward, a series of drawings with no emotion or interaction.  The story is a mediocre “girl killer on the run” that’s by-the-numbers.  Ienco definitely has a future in comics, especially since he’s put together the entire package himself, but he’s got some work to do first.  Image approved Epic Kill a little early in his career.

Hoax Hunters #0 was another good example of a cover reaching up off the stands, grabbing my eyeballs and not letting go.  Fortunately, this was a better comic all around.  It’s a great idea: a TV show busting urban legends a la Mythbusters that REALLY seriously investigates the truth behind the rumors.  And the best part is that it could be done in any format but the creators chose to do it as a comic.  (Legitimacy!)  The art by JM Ringuet and Axel Medellin is adequate, but stiff and used fairly stock posing and acting. The previews for issue #1 appear to be a different artist in a different style, so I’m looking forward to seeing if there’s any growth there.

Roger Langridge would be a hero of ours if he had only ever done  Boom!’s first Muppet Show miniseries, but he has continually impressed us with work on Snarked and the rest of an incredibly well-written and drawn Muppet run.  So despite no more than a passing familiarity with the characters, I picked up Popeye #1 on the strength of his name alone.  It was a fine comic, and Bruce Ozella’s art seemed to mimic the original well enough for me, but to be honest, the sea voyage to retrieve a mystery creature was enough for me the first time in Snarked.  This just felt like the same story with licensed characters.  I’ll leave it to Matt or Brother of the Blog Stephen to decide how good it is in the context of Popeye, but I’m not really intrigued enough to go any further with  it.

It’s been a while since I read any Tick comics, essentially since the late 90’s when Luny Bin and Tick and Arthur came out.  I decided  that Tick #100’s Invincible crossover would be as good a place to jump back in as any.  And it was!  A great comic all around that brings both characters together in a forgettable enough way and then lets them go crazy together.  It’s a lot of fun, and completely accessible as long as you have a passing familiarity with the characters, even from the old TV show.  And kudos to Benito Cereno for referencing such craziness that’s been happening in this title lately that I have no choice now but to pick up back issues of the current run.  My only real complaint (and I find myself having this problem more and more lately) is the scene transitions are often abrupt or jerky.

NEC Press, knowing this was it’s chance to snag new readers (and recapture some lapsed ones like myself) then took the opportunity to explain the Tick’s publishing history, and how the original run and multiple miniseries since then fit in together.  It was an excellent chance to play catch-up, and quite appreciated.  However, there’s always a gotcha, and the catch with Tick #100 is that it was 7 dollars.  The main story was only 24 pages and the publishing history took up about half the book.  That is WAY too much for the amount of content.  The backmatter should have been more condensed (the pictures were beautiful, but filler) and it should have run 5 bucks.  Price aside, this was damn near a perfect comic.

Yggdrasil and the Nine Norse Worlds

When Stan Lee came up with the idea for a Thor superhero with Jack Kirby he had a decision to make: invent a new superhero from whole cloth or take the best bits from the original Norse myths.  One of these concepts were the 9 worlds, each with different inhabitants. The gods lived in Asgard, humans in Midgard, the dead in Hel, giants in Jotunheim, so on and so forth.  We’ve recently discovered some documentation that Stan almost invented his own nine worlds for the Thor comic from scratch, and we are pleased to present them for this week’s LIST.

  • ALFheim –

    home of alien life form Gordon Schumway

  • Care-a-lotheim –

    home of mythical ursine wielders of mighty emoticons.

  • Sniffleheim –

    None of these pasty, weak kids are sick per se, but they could definitely use a kleenex.

  • Intellectualpropertygard –

    whose population of peaceful poets had to be continually on alert against the graphite mining trolls who would steal their ideas and take full credit.

  • Miamidgard –

    The home of relaxation, repose, shuffleboards for those Asgardians who have hung up their armor in exchange for a white belt and white shoes.

  • Asgard-2 –

    An Asgard where the Golden Age gods who fought in World War II reside.

  • Joiseyheim –

    Lee and Kirby originally proposed this as their equivalent to Norse Hel. Populated by orange and tan demons to torment the wicked in the afterlife.

  • Snaezgyard –

    The healthiest people in the Nine Realms because of their well protected buffet tables and salad bars. Mortal enemies of Sniffleheim.

  • Hammerteim –

    ohoh oh ohhhh oh, oh oh ohohhhhh, oh ohh ohh. Stop!

 

Red Hulk… SECRETS!

Red Hulk is the Hulk of Champions.

secret…

So Iooked Barnes square in the eye after breakfast, and I said,”Son, I know Captain America. He made me pancakes once; he was a personal friend of mine. You sir are no Captain America.

A speech I delivered to the GAO regarding hookers, cocaine, and multi-million dollar Hulk-busting armor inspired Aaron Sorkin to write a scene in “West Wing.”

SECRET…

Back in my day, we didn’t have any numbers larger than 4.

SECRETS!

This Week’s Comics

So many comics came out last week I’ve barely been able to crack the surface, so expect more reviews next week.  I’m also going to start moving my capsule reviews to another day, just because, though I expect there won’t be much in the way of complaints there.  But here we are for this week’s new and noteworthy titles.

  • BATMAN INCORPORATED #1 – This falls under noteworthy, as it’s Grant Morrison’s return to Batman to wrap up everything from his run.  It sure would be nice to read this, but I just can’t bring myself to.
  • COMIC BOOK HISTORY OF COMICS GN – youngI’ve only read the first and last issues of Fred Van Lente and Ryan Dunlavey’s history of comics, but it’s really amazing.  If you’ve enjoyed Action Philosophers, it tackles the subject in a very similar manner and style.  And if you were inclined to explain the history of comics with  someone, what better way than with a comic?  Very highly recommended.
  • FANTASTIC FOUR #606
  • GODZILLA ONGOING #1 – I’m still pretty bitter about the way IDW allowed Kingdom of Monsters to wrap up and the uneven quality of Legends.  I’m going to have to give this one the flip test before Idecide to pay good money on Godzilla again.
  • HULK #52 – I’m still pretty far behind on Parker’s Hulk because of a few missing issues, but the plan is to stay on through the Mayan story arc.  Because, that’s why!
  • PROPHET #25 – Prophet is a pretty novel branch of the Extreme wing, but it’s really losing me.  It’s weirdness is just too vague after all this time.  I think I’m going to hop off after this arc.
  • YOUNGBLOOD #71 – The last of The Rob’s Extreme relaunch is here at last.  I expect this to last one or two issues before getting dropped again, just like volume 2, Bloodsport, Genesis, and Imperial.  For real.

That’s it for this week.  What looks good to you?

The LIST: Where are they now?

Between revamps, reboots, various crises, and a decimation, we’ve lost a lot of characters that were once favorites or at least got a lot of panel time. This week we ask about their whereabouts.

Stardust lost everything during an ill-fated trip to Atlantic City and gave up superheroing. Always looking for the next big score, he is currently trying to sue the Internet over the rights to “planking”.

 

Master Mold I – the sentient sentinel factory was hollowed out and turned into the Genoshan equivalent of Dave and Buster’s.

Irving Forbush – settled down with Ma Hunkle and moved to Flagstaff,
AZ.  They’ve raised 7 children who haven’t given them any grandkids
yet.  All have cookware on their noggins.

Turok – the famed dinosaur hunter continues to hunt dinsoaur. However, he now also dresses them and sells them in his specialty meats shop located near Encino California.

Alfred E. Newman – the former child star worries.  A lot.  About the
future of your soul.

 

Vulko – If you’re in the market for a used seahorse, why not swim on over to Crazy Vulko’s Used Seahorse Emporium? We’re the Official Used Seahorse Dealer – by appointment – to Aquaman!

Ray Palmer – gave up his Atom identity to be replaced by Green Arrow for a while.

Cameron Hodge – the biggoted techno-organic foe of the X-Men finally accepted that mutants were a part of life. Since 2009, Hodge has worked at the Best Buy in Ames, Iowa. He’s Assistant Manager in charge of the Geek Squad.

Cyclone – This more-recent JSA member, once an optimistic, youthful ball of energy, continues to emulate Red Tornado by spending all her time crying.  The JSA is not returning her calls.

Herbie Popnecker – at 66, Reverend Popnecker uses his lollipop powers exclusively to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ and torment Satan and his legions of demons. He is the founder and senior minister of a mega church in San Antonio Texas.

Random Links For Your Weekend

Wow, it has been a LONG time since I put one of these together!  But, with the need to close some browser tabs and the extremely dickish way DC has been sticking it to Alan Moore this week, well…we were overdue.

  • This is the check DC used to buy Superman in 1938.  And it just sold for $160,000.  Dollars.  American.
  • Tformers.com reviews the new (well, at the time!) Transformers Japanese Collection.  If I ever manage to make it through the American episodes I can’t wait to check these out.  Friend of the Blog David says they’re great!
  • With Paul Levitz no longer keeping DC from capitalizing on Watchmen, they’re just going WAY out of their way to make up for lost dollars time.  First, on Tuesday this is revealed:

Yes, that’s a Watchmen toaster.  A Watchmen.  Fucking.  Toaster.  Which nobody, EVER, has found themselves wishing for IF ONLY Alan Moore would stop being a fussy little baby.  Then DC opens up their own online storefront selling exclusive toys and the like.  Sure, it’s probably long overdue, but by selling Graphic Novels (and almost inevitably comics) and two styles of Comedian iPhone cases* (sorry AGAIN, Alan), they’re cutting out the retailers who have propped them up for decades. But at least they’re putting out an adorable V vinyl doll.  Because that’s what Alan Moore really meant for that work.** If it weren’t May I’d assume this was an April Fools gag.  (Thanks to Team Hellions, on whose site I saw this reported first.)

With that bit of bile out of the way, that’s it for this installment.  Have a good weekend, folks.  So I don’t end on a completely down note I’ll leave you with this bit of awesomeness.

*Seriously, if you’re most impressed by THE COMEDIAN, we cannot have anything in common.  That dude just straight up raped people and an iPhone may not be quite the right place to honor that guy.

**The conspiracy theorist in me wants to say that by making the Guy Fawkes mask cute and cuddly it will take away some of the power of the Occupy movement and Anonymous.  But the realist in me says that’s crazy, right?  Right?